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Obama Has Secret Party; The Reasoning Will Sicken You

Throughout his career, Barack Obama has fashioned himself as the champion of the middle class. Back when he was in the Senate, he made a very big deal about flying coach, liking beer, watching sports and driving a rather dowdy Chrysler. Nowadays, he still invokes class warfare and “income inequality” as reasons Americans should vote for Democrats.

So, how did he spend his birthday? Since he’s such a middle-class guy, I’m assuming he went to the Cheesecake Factory with Michelle, Sasha and Malia and had a bunch of servers surround his table and sing. “I don’t know but I’ve been told / I DON’T KNOW BUT I’VE BEEN TOLD! / Someone here is gettin’ old! / SOMEONE HERE…”

Well, not quite. When the cameras are on Obama, he tends to be prolier-than-thou. At his recent birthday party, which he kept from the media and urged attendees to stay silent about, a different sort of Obama emerges.

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In fact, according to The New York Times‘ account of Obama’s 55th, the guest list looked a lot more like what his supporters might call “the one percent.”

Cookie and I getting ready to go to President Obama’s birthday party! pic.twitter.com/bOTX9YwnkC

— Earvin Magic Johnson (@MagicJohnson) August 6, 2016
I suppose one can’t criticize someone too much for wanting Magic Johnson to be at his birthday party. After all, the man is certifiably awesome. He was one of a number of stars who broke a White House-imposed embargo on publicizing the event.

Leaving the White House after the celebration of President Obama’s birthday. His last birthday as President. pic.twitter.com/5al4JoxOYU

— Reverend Al Sharpton (@TheRevAl) August 6, 2016
And one certainly can’t call “Reverend” Al Sharpton one of the “one percent,” given the ascetic lifestyle a man of the cloth must live. (At least, that’s what he tells the IRS, nudge nudge, wink wink.) After all, he’s so thin and frail from starvation that he looks like my grandmother got loopy on painkillers, wandered into a Men’s Wearhouse and started trying on random stuff.

Other salt-of-the-earth types that attended Obama’s ultra-secret birthday party include retired NBA stars Grant Hill and Alonzo Mourning, movie legend George Lucas; Paul McCartney (a guest and a performer), Stevie Wonder (another guest and performer), Nick Jonas (a guest and one would hope, for the sake of the other guests, not a performer) and Ellen Degeneres.

So, why keep this so secret? Well, I don’t think it’s to keep America from finding out and buying him some sort of expensive gift. In fact, we’ve already bought him some pretty expensive gifts in the form of vacations.

No matter how powerful, working class people generally do not have Beatles singing them “Happy Birthday.” They don’t have Stevie Wonder or George Lucas or Nick Jonas. (That last one, I must admit, is a blessing.)

The whole middle-class president thing has always been a charade, no matter who does it. However, few politicians, no matter who they are, have milked it for as much as Obama has.

If you’re so serious about the image, here’s my advice, Barack: next year, do the Cheesecake Factory. The portions are huge, you can probably get a table quickly, and you can ask them to turn off the Jonas Brothers should it ever come on.

(via: Conservative Tribune)

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