The Russians are Coming!! Or Have Been Here, Or Something

Share this:

If you are proclaiming the 2016 Presidential election the election that would never end, your not that far out of line.

First of all Hillary Clinton in a very rare attempt at appearing human actually conceded as this article in the Guardian points out following Donald Trump’s historic victory “Hillary Clinton called on her supporters to accept the US election result on Wednesday, as she delivered a concession speech in New York in which she pressed Donald Trump to hold fast to American values.”

Then her cult members supporters decided that it could not be as simple as just losing, in their somewhat deranged confused outlook there was no way a “beautiful, intelligent, popular, honest, hard working woman could lose to Donald Trump” they were undoubtedly correct but rather than that person they choose to run Hillary Clinton who was none of those things (well we don’t have (and don’t want) any conclusive proof that she is a woman, but we will spot her than one).

So after what seemed like weeks and months of delicate liberal snowflakes melting all across America (but was in all likelihood only a matter of days) safe spaces were established everywhere for those who just could not live with the results of the election. Classes were cancelled, therapy dogs were brought to schools and work (well none of these people actually worked ) and many, many liberal tears were shed.

Clinton went on to say in her concession speech that  “Last night I congratulated Donald Trump and offered to work with him on behalf of our country,” she said. “I hope that he will be a president for all of our country. I’m sorry that we did not win this election for the values we all share.”

Apparently by that she meant that she would fail to condemn those who choose to express their massive disappointment as many  no one had ever done before. These members of the liberal hive (the majority of whom were either so sure that Clinton would win or else just couldn’t figure out how to operate complex machinery, just plain failed to vote) this failure on their part so enraged them that they (spoiler alert here: NOT KIDDING) decided to risk the lives of everyday Americans (many of whom actually voted) by rioting for a do over. Yes, unhappy with the results of an election that they choose not to participate in by you know – voting, they rioted for a Mulligan

All of a sudden the Electoral college (which many of these Constitutional scholars had previously never heard of) took on the image of Nazi’s, the KKK and the DNC (just kidding about that last one, no one looks that bad). Liberal Political Science majors stayed up late in to the night for DAYS, in many cases not just to get High and engage in casual sex.

Yes these young liberal brain trusts (the ones not rioting) studied that ancient document (the Constitution) for many long moments developing many asinine ridiculous  crazy interesting ideas for (ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT: Still not kidding) overturning the election results and/or disbanding the Electoral College or just plain letting them have their way.

Finally, equal parts daunted and depressed by the fact that rewriting the Constitution (which had seemed such a simple task initially) might not be possible before January 20th the idea of doing so died. That’s not to say that all efforts died, the idea of threatening the life of the members of the Electoral College (No spoiler alert but sadly this is also real) still goes on at this late date.

In the meantime with cold weather coming in the rioters realized that they were going to get cold no matter how much stuff they set on fire (rioting being a primarily outdoor activity) and the riots fell by the wayside. Given the encouragement of liberals like Michael Moore (we don’t know who he is either, but photographic evidence suggests he is some type of competitive eating champion) this situation may again flare up. Currently betting on the fact that said Michael Moore won’t be present to witness (or be endangered by) the violence he is encouraging at the inaugural event is running 40:1 against.

Meanwhile Hillary Clinton (remember her? For some bizarre (yes that’s the word were going with) reason decided to join forces with Dr. Jill Stein (much like Dr. Frankenstein just spelled slightly differently) in an insane wacky bizarre loony ill advised attempt to request a recount although Stein’s chances of winning were only slightly behind Tweety Bird and Woodrow Wilson (but then both of them ran strong, clean campaigns in comparison). They also had the significant advantage of (despite being not real and dead respectively) not appearing to be batcrap crazy.

“Donald Trump is going to be our president,” Clinton had said, speaking at the New Yorker hotel in Manhattan while conceding “We owe him an open mind and a chance to lead.” That relatively rare demonstration of Clinton’s humor served as a hilarious backdrop to the recount attempt Clinton and Stein joined forces for.

Although Stein came out (kind of) and admitted that the recount wasn’t going to change the election results she was extremely careful not to say this until she had totally soaked desperate liberals collected somewhere between 7 and 70 million bucks. Something over 6,999,999.00 more than her campaign had managed to collect. It is not known if Dr. Stein has determined that this scam strategy is far more lucrative (and far easier) than actually running for something but it should be noted that Big reports that the website name “Heydon’tlikeyourelectionresults?” is no longer available.

According to Dr. Stein the recount was not intended to change results but to ensure that hacking did not take place. She even stuck to this hilarious story after the beautiful and brainy Lisa “Kennedy” Montgomery of Fox Business Network famously explained to the good doctor “in order to hack into something you have to be connected to the Internet”

So now the REAL story unfolded! Despite zero evidence and forceful denials from all involved (except an unnamed CIA operative who may or may not be the same guy who told Harry Reid that Romney never paid taxes) liberals have latched onto a total plausible reason for Clinton’s loss (Final Spoiler alert, this is both true and stupid) Russian hackers! Yes Russian hackers were responsible for the truth about Clinton getting out to the general public. Never mind hacking the vote these cretins did far worse despite Wikipedia’s denials, the liberals believe that these nefarious hackers released Clinton’s private emails – ones she denied even having and (GASP) used Clinton’s own words against her!

We may never know if the Russians went so far as causing Clinton to abandon men in Libya or lie to grieving parents in front of their son’s caskets or even if they made her steal over 2 billion $$$ from Haiti, but they were apparently on Trump’s side.

Liberals are totally unglued by this, why it’s unprecedented!! If it happened to conservatives they’d be singing a different tune!

Except there is this…. Michael Reagan (Ronnie’s republican son) tweeting today as @ReganWorld said this “In 1980 Kennedy asked the Russians to help him beat Carter for the nomination and in 84 the Dems asked Russia to help them defeat my father.”

So perhaps the Russians aren’t coming after all, looks like they have already been here.


Notify of

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments