Ever feel like things just aren’t goin’ right, and you wanna set ’em straight? Ever need some supernatural help and think of bowing your head and asking? Ever take your longings to your holy father, Satan?
That’s exactly what happened at a government meeting Tuesday in Alaska’s Kenai Peninsula Borough, and some folks just flat-out left.
Iris Fontana — a member of the Satanic Temple — delivered the invocation, allowed by an October ruling of the state’s Superior Court. Due to Alaska’s constitutional establishment clause, anyone of any religion can deliver the opening prayer.
Gee, wouldn’t you feel better knowing Satan’s involved in your town’s decision-making? It’s just what government’s lacking.
Well, that and a good chomping down on the Fruit of Knowledge.
As reported by the Peninsula Clarion:
[Iris] asked listeners to embrace the impulse to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. “Let us demand that humans be judged for their actions.”
Here’s how the prayer ended, according to KSRM:
“That which will not bend, must break. And that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise. It is done. Hail Satan.”
Satan’s involvement in the proceedings didn’t come without protest — about 40 people rallied outside the building. Among other messages, signs urged folks to “Know Jesus and His Love” and “Reject Satan and His Works.”
A dozen or so officials and attendees walked out after Beelzebub got there, including chief of staff James Baisden and Mayor Charlie Pierce.
William Siebenmorgen — who flew all the way from Pennsylvania to protest — said the Prince of Darkness is a total loser:
“God will be pleased with our public prayers of reparation. We want God’s blessings on America, not Satan’s curses. Lucifer is the eternal loser. Let’s keep him out.”
No word on whether the Lord of Evil was given a name tag.
But I’m thinking that anyone in attendance who couldn’t already recognize him didn’t have a chance in hell of escaping his influence anyway.
One thing you may be surprised to discover — as per my March article — is that Satan is a liberal Democrat. Or, at least, such is the case with the Satanic Temple’s politically-outspoken co-founder, Lucien Greaves. Please read much more about him and the Temple here.
And since it’s Friday, have a great weekend. Hail chocolate milk, which is what I’ll be inviting to mine.